New production!

The Desperate Food Thieves Catering Company
in association with
Bemused Production Absurdities
are pleased to present
The Sanity Suspect Players
in
“Fountains of Paste”
Thrill to the fine sprays of toothpaste as they leave the mouth! Frill the mirror with electrically generated fans of pre-loved frothy saliva! Bill your cleaner to scrub it all off! Will the delicate patterns take off as an alternative art form? Mill around wondering what it’s all about! Still the rapid beating of your heart! Pill your towels plucking at them in creative fits! Fill your next load of mouthwash into the design! Above all, swill your way out of the bathroom to see
“Fountains of Paste”
presented in 2¼ acts.

Featuring:

Brevilly Hillbilly as the Manic Mouthwash Meddler

Iva Tycoon as the Mirror Sales-and-Repairman

Egan Ham as the Tube of Toothpaste

And a special appearance by:

The Desperate Food Thieves Catering Company Diversion Service as The Dentists Who Can’t Show Their Faces

“Urk!” – Pretend critic service.

“It’s a cack! But only if I don’t have to clean the mirrors off at the end!” – our cleaner.

Don’t miss this once in a lifetime event – appearing on a bathroom mirror near you!

One weekend only!

“Fountains of Paste”

The Desperate Food Thieves Catering Company in association with Bemused Production Absurdities present “Fountains of Paste”. Starring the Sanity Suspect Players. A division of Cleaning Services Are Underrated Productions. Casting by the Thrice-Damned Unrepentant Vigilante Mob of Stolen Food Against Food Theft. All Rights Reserved by an electric toothbrush.

Broken down? Grind your teeth to see....

The Desperate Food Thieves Catering Company
in association with
Bemused Production Absurdities
are pleased to present
The Sanity Suspect Players
in
“In the Event of Notworkingness”
Have your arteries harden and your blood pressure rise in this thrilling tale of hair-raising errors, breakdowns and failed milkmaids working as bearded Beowulfs. Machines break down! People yell! People yelling wave their arms in the air! Other people run away! Still other people tut-tut! Yes, it’s an all-screaming, report-toting extravaganza! It might be a thin plot, but it’s all we’ve got! Do you like anxiety? Or watching people grit their teeth and pretend everything is fine? Then you’ll just have to see
“In the Event of Notworkingness”
presented in several ¼ acts¹

Featuring:

Egan Ham as the Kalahari businessman

Iva Tycoon as the perpetually unclothed service technician

Sam Agan as the sighing doomsayer

And a special appearance by:

The Desperate Food Thieves Catering Company Diversion Service as misappropriated machinery.

“An absolute hoot of tiny proportions” – Pretend critic service.

“And I thought trains being late was a drama!” – Someone who came to complain but ended up discussing the terrible state of the world today.

Don’t miss out on this wonderful exploration of equipment failure and crankiness – appearing at a park bench near you!

One week only!

“In the Event of Notworkingness”

The Desperate Food Thieves Catering Company in association with Bemused Production Absurdities present “In the Event of Notworkingness”, starring the Sanity Suspect Players. Casting by the Unrepentant Vigilante Mob of Stolen Food Against Food Theft – Service Division. All Rights Reserved.

¹ We can't manage a whole one.

Tut-tut! Naughty!

The Desperate Food Thieves Catering Company
in association with
Bemused Production Absurdities
are pleased to present
The Sanity Suspect Players
in
“Once More a Tut-Tutter”
You thought it was over, didn’t you? Didn’t you? But NO! Once more into the breach (of conduct)! Cry havoc! Let slip the dogs! Release the hounds! Catch the errant Tupperware! Don’t let it get away! Chase the phantom food pilferer! You see, there was a point to all this ranting! Ranting! Yes! Ranting! Some panting! Not to mention quiet tut-tutting! Once again we delve into the dramatisation of a dastardly deed! Chase the actors (and members of the audience) around a large dark room when you try to grab the grub bandit! One Day the Day Will Come, in
“Once More a Tut-Tutter”
presented in 1 act.

Featuring:

Brevilly Hillbilly as Madge, self-appointed moral arbiter and secret tea drinker

Iva Tycoon as the Tupperware vengeance man

Egan Ham as the Narrator

Sherlock Aloysius Haughton as Kenneth Branagh

And a special appearance by:

The Desperate Food Thieves Catering Company Diversion Service as starter’s pistols.

“The sporting event of the year.” – Pretend critic service.

“Terrific!” – someone we stopped on the street.

Don’t miss this once in a lifetime event – appearing on a table top near you!

One weekend only!

“Once More a Tut-Tutter”

The Desperate Food Thieves Catering Company in association with Bemused Production Absurdities present “Once More a Tut-Tutter”. Starring the Sanity Suspect Players. Casting by the Thrice-Determined Unrepentant Vigilante Mob of Stolen Food Against Food Theft. All Rights Reserved by a small woman selling large matches at a flower stall.

Occupational Therapy

The Desperate Food Thieves Catering Company
in association with
Bemused Production Absurdities
are pleased to present
The Sanity Suspect Players
in
"Occupational Therapy Theatre"
A vaudevillian-in-scope collection of repetitive small muscle movements designed to amuse and entertain even the tiniest-minded chinch bug (and sure to induce sympathetic repetitive strain injury in the audience). Watch the placing rubber bands around groups of small bottles! Observe the folding of paper in half! Study the continuous drawing of small circles! Scrutinise the placement of stickers onto small glass tubes! Wince at the sheer mind-numbing monotony of it all! Drool on your companion's shoulder as you succumb to the wafting pleasures of sleep! Bring your own pillow along to
"Occupational Therapy Theatre"
presented in 2½ very long acts.

Don't miss out!

Featuring:

Egan Ham as a sticker (doubling as an applicator stick in clot-checking portion of the evening)

Iva Tycoon as the paper folder

Brevilly Hillbilly as the light relief

Sam Agan as the hill singer, fridge kicker and carpal-tunnel syndrome sufferer

And a special appearance by:

Sherlock Aloysius Haughton as Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

“It took me a week to get the dribble out of my suit” – Pretend critic service.

“There are several breaches of the Occupational Health and Safety Act, and as soon as my wrists stop hurting, I'll issue you with a PIN." - WorkCover NSW inspector

Don't miss out on this wonderful exploration of persistently repetitive arm, hand and leg movements!

"Occupational Therapy Theatre"

The Desperate Food Thieves Catering Company in association with Bemused Production Absurdities present “Occupational Therapy Theatre”, starring the Sanity Suspect Players. Casting by the Unrepentant Vigilante Mob of Stolen Food Against Food Theft (Physiotherapy Division). All Rights Reserved.

Someone Keeps Forgetting to Flush!

The Desperate Food Thieves Catering Company
in association with
Bemused Production Absurdities
are pleased to present
The Sanity Suspect Players
in
“Sanitation Sillies”
An awe-inspiring vaudeville extravaganza of non-stop hand washing and closed cubicle doors! The height of eliminatory entertainment! An all-singing and all-dancing exploration of the world of water closets! Feel the might of soap dispensers as they learn to serenade! Delight at the continual flushing! Fight your way in to see
“Sanitation Sillies”
presented in 14½ acts

Featuring:

Egan Ham as a toilet seat

Iva Tycoon as a soap dispenser (or several)

Sam Agan as the towel handler

John Gee-Gosh-Golly as the spy camera

Sherlock Aloysius Haughton as George Orwell

And a special appearance by:

The Desperate Food Thieves Catering Company Diversion Service as the Goose-Stepping Lavatory Monitors

“A hoot! Bring some castanets and join in!” – pretend critic service

“Don’t forget to wash your hands on your way out!” – the Director.

“Audience participation a must (especially with all that running water)!” – the newspaper delivery boy.

Appearing at a loo near you!

“Sanitation Sillies”

One week only!

The Desperate Food Thieves Catering Company in association with Bemused Production Absurdities present “Sanitation Sillies”, starring the Sanity Suspect Players. Casting by the Smaller Marsupial Tree Frog Appreciation Society. All Rights Reserved.

In the Eye of the Menu

The Desperate Food Thieves Catering Company
in association with
Bemused Production Absurdities
are pleased to present
The Sanity Suspect Players
in
“In the Eye of the Menu”

Tragedy! Redemption! Romance! Grief! Mystery! Farce! Absolutely NO stolen food! Welcome to the sequel of that most wondrous of works, “The Cafeteria of the Mind”. You thought it was all over, but NO! Once and again, emphatically NO! Thrill to the scrapes of a furniture salesman and his long-distance girl (who never appears). Watch as he gorges himself at local eateries as he strives to find the ideal romantic dining service for his girl. Will there be a vanquishing of a villain? Will marble ottomans take off? Will cornflakes replace upholstery? For the answer to all of these questions, and others, you’ll have to see

“In the Eye of the Menu”
presented in 3¼ acts

Featuring:

Egan Ham as the furniture salesman

Iva Tycoon as the perpetually undecided customer searching for that perfect parfait

Sam Agan as the waiter

And a special appearance by:

The Desperate Food Thieves Catering Company Diversion Service as furniture


“Please lose my number, my liver can’t take any more stolen hubcaps” – Pretend critic service.

“What a hoot! I always thought an ottoman was a German butler!” – Our work-experience diversion service trainee.

Don’t miss out on this wonderful exploration of the human condition – appearing at a local food store near you!

One week only!

“In the Eye of the Menu”

The Desperate Food Thieves Catering Company in association with Bemused Production Absurdities present “In the Eye of the Menu”, starring the Sanity Suspect Players. Casting by the Unrepentant Vigilante Mob of Stolen Food Against Food Theft. All Rights Reserved.