Excerpt - Cafeteria of the Mind 2

ACT I

Scene i

A tea room, deserted, with over-flowing bins and rubbish on the floor.

Enter the Stolen Sandwich, singing, the tune is whatever comes to mind at the time.

Sandwich:
Oh woe! I can never escape,
The evil man’s grasp-
All I’ll ever have time for
Is one…last…gasp!
He caught me so easily,
Gifted in thievery,
And now all I ne-e-e-d
Is for someone to he-e-e-d-
To win the audience o-o-o-o-over
With my heartfelt rendition
Of theft and perdition
Of being the victim of a victimless crime,
Oh if only I had more, yes more, time!

[stops as door opens, ducks behind nearest chair as the Girl enters]

Girl:
Oh woe! I can never escape,
The chains of my past!
Of hoping I’d grilled up
And toasted my last!
But now there’s a villain-

[Sandwich pops up from behind chair]

Sandwich:
A villain?

Girl:
-yes a villain,
Who wears a horrible mask!
He appears invisible-
(The premise seems risible)
He steals food and scoffs it,
Even the crumbs to the last!
Oh it’s a horrible thing,

Sandwich:
Yes, a horrible thing,

Girl:
I don’t want to sing,

Sandwich:
There’s no choice, that’s the thing!

Girl:
Oh please let me fling-

Sandwich:
What terrible rhy-ming!

Girl:
This horrible lifestyle, awa-a-a-ay!

Together:
Oh woe! We can never escape
The evil man’s grasp-
And now all we ne-e-e-d
Is for someone to he-e-e-d-
To win the audience o-o-o-o-over
With our heartfelt rendition
Of theft and perdition
Of being the victims of victimless crime,
Oh if only we had more, yes more, time!

[They embrace as the stage darkens, to the tune of “The Liberty Bell”]